I Suppose I Do Get Weary

The weather outside may look peachy keen,
but inside my soul has been set aflame
by the lightning of the storm that deals out rain
in waterfalls that flow into the river of my veins.

My weak heart.

Oh my weak heart that’s worn out from constant pain.

I suppose I do get weary.

I get weary of the advice from others thinking they can save me from the ache,
thinking that lectures they read somewhere will guide me in the right direction.

They don’t know.
They don’t know that this is familiar territory and I’ve walked this neighborhood time and time again.
They think they know from text, but I already know from experience,

and man do I get weary.

But I’ll smile that smile, nod that nod and laugh that laugh to keep it all down.

I’ll keep it down until it drowns in that river
Or until it burns out into ashes of black and silver.

 -Deneé J.
 
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Dream of You: In Memory of my Father

We were walking, you and I
down a sidewalk, back and forth
You weren’t speaking, no surprise
looking distant towards the North
Reading thoughts
and counting steps
Feeling lost
expressing regrets
But I knew you’d have to leave
of much, would I complain
From my memory I’ll retrieve
the treasures, the plights, the pain
So on you went, up North
I’ll walk alone, for now, just me
While I go back and forth
waiting for another visit in my dreams.

-Deneé J.

Unopened

Presents left unopened.
December’s left behind.
The world has already started
it’s steady crumbling decline.

Innocence is broken
shattered, turned to ash
Guilt becomes unheard of
the grief has turned to mask

Too often we come together in sadness
misery, anger and tears…
We blame each other’s ignorance
and with this, it fuels our fears.

Stomp out in our frustration
and beg and plead ‘no more’
And go tread on like soldiers
in this never ending war

-Deneé J.

This poem derived from some feelings I was having after the Sandy Hook Elementary School catastrophe. May we keep their families, as well as others involved in these senseless acts, in our prayers.

Today, it rained

Rain pulls me into reverie
to bring me away from my harsh reality
Thunder shakes beneath my feet
Shaking the core
Jostling my soul
Clashing intervals most complete
Tink, Tap, Tlonk
Sweet small clatter of rain
Drops of random
The subdued pain
Light creates cracks
Bright flashes whitewash the sky
Rain forever
don’t let it die.

-Deneé J.